Tuesday, 17 January 2012

I'm a Highly Sensitive Newbie


In my earlier post I mentioned how I'm finding it difficult learning how to deal with or cope with being a highly sensitive person. One thing I did note just take a quick look at that post again was my struggle to "educate" others (people in my life) but why? That's really not my job, I've got enough to deal with. The people closer to me, I will help to understand about the highly sensitive trait but I really need to remove my "superwoman" cape occasionally and stop wearing my underpants over the top of my tights!

Okay, taking a step back. After writing the earlier post, I came across an article shared by a page on Facebook and it was just what I needed at that moment - Are You a Highly Sensitive Newbie? by Jenna Avery.

It's a great list which can help (or remind) a newbie like myself move forward in learning about this highly sensitive trait. It helps in the overall picture but it came along just at the right time for me as I was struggling with a couple of things. Now I can focus on the points that are more urgent for me as I start each new day and calm myself again.

Learning about being sensitive can trigger a lot of emotions – in many forms. Joy, relief, sadness, excitement, anger, and confusion may all surface, often all at once.

Jenna is not wrong when she mentions that at times so many emotions can surface at once, I've certainly had times recently where I thought I was going bonkers. I think part of my problem (and this may have been a problem for other HSP's too) is that for so long I've tried to fit into a world with more people who were quite different to myself, I tried to live "their way" but that was setting myself up to fail. Now I know that I don't have to "fit in"; instead, true to my nature I will become and live side by side with those who are different but it's a hard habit to break. I know I will get there, like many things, I just need to persist until I get it right.

My plan for the moment is to work through this list, keep reading the books I'm accumulating and remember to take things slowly. I'm just so grateful that there is a growing amount of information out there in print and online.

Saturday, 14 January 2012

Some days it's so hard!


It's really hard to come to terms with this HSP thing. I know I will get there and I'm guessing other HSP's have gone through similar but now it's just such an overwhelming thing to deal with.

I think finding a new perspective is the hard part at the moment. Sure, I "get it" and it helps make so much sense of the person I am, how I respond or react to things but trying to keep that in mind while I try to 'educate' those around me and filter all the incoming sensory stimulation is hard.

One of the big things about being highly sensitive is our senses really take a battering, things just seem that much more intense and invasive. I've read about the different things that can drive different HSP's to distraction and often giggle to myself when they match up with me. All these years I thought I had such odd quirks or was weird. It's nice to know I'm not weird at all.

Being highly sensitive and having a slightly different nervous system by all accounts is a good thing and I can see how it would be, at the moment while I learn more about being a HSP though I must admit, there are times it feels like a curse. Others have been where I am now and so I have hope that I'll get to the point too where life works better. I guess one way of looking at it could be it feels as though I'm caught in a rip and I'm trying to swim against it - I just need to start swimming with it until I can reach calmer waters.

I am going through another bad patch with my depression at the moment which probably feels worse because now I seem to get over aroused easier with sensory stimulation as well as trying to deal with what I mentioned above. I've been back having counselling sessions again which does help but it's not enough at the moment. It certainly helps that my counsellor is also a HSP but I think what I really need is to take a good deal of time out for myself and if I could move somewhere quieter I would be even happier!

For now I will plod along though, continue reading the books I've got and the information I find online and work with what I've got.